Previous English leader Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet face the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and lifted numerous English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the condition.
"There's an element of facing the future and not wanting to completely absorb that at the minute," he stated.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's progressing. We comprehend that. But there is definitely a reluctance to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, says instead he feels "at ease" as he directs his attention to his immediate health, his family and making preparations for when the disease progresses.
"Perhaps that's trauma or maybe I handle situations in another way, and when I have the details, it's simpler," he continued.
Early Signs
Moody discovered he had MND after noticing some weakness in his upper arm while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the issue, a number of scans indicated nerve cells in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're appropriately extremely moved about it, but it's quite odd because I sense that nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't sense sick. I don't experience sick
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a bit of muscle deterioration in the hand and the shoulder.
"I'm still capable of doing whatever I want. And with luck that will persist for as long as is attainable."
Condition Development
MND can develop swiftly.
According to the charity MND Association, the condition kills a third of people within a 365 days and over half within 730 days of detection, as eating and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Therapy can only slow worsening.
"It's not me that I feel sad for," stated an affected Moody.
"It's about the grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the implications that has for her."
Personal Consequences
Talking from the household with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overcome with feeling when he discussed telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the devastating news, stating: "This was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two brilliant boys and that was pretty upsetting," Moody stated.
"We positioned ourselves on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog leapt across and commenced cleaning the drops off our faces, which was rather funny."
Moody explained the priority was staying in the now.
"There exists no solution and that is why you have to be so militantly concentrated on just welcoming and enjoying all aspects now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been really blessed that the primary choice I made when I concluded playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as feasible. We can't reclaim those years back."
Player Association
Elite competitors are disproportionately influenced by MND, with studies proposing the incidence of the illness is up to sixfold higher than in the general population.
It is thought that by reducing the O2 available and producing harm to nerve cells, consistent, strenuous physical activity can initiate the illness in those previously vulnerable.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in honour of his courageous, unwavering method to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a time with Leicester and once sparked a workout scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a tackle pad and commenced participating in collisions.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the back of the line-out in the decisive phase of play, creating a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the game-deciding drop kick.
Support Network
Moody has already notified Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a few other former colleagues about his medical situation, but the rest will be discovering his news with the rest of public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to depend on their assistance but, at the present, just having that type of affection and recognition that people are there is all that matters," he stated.
"The sport is such a excellent community.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even should it ended now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to call your passion your career, it's one of the greatest honors.
"Achieving this for so extended a time with the teams that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will wish to help in every way they can and I anticipate having those discussions."
